External Link: “To Text or Not to Text: A Dating Conundrum” by The New York Times

This is an amusing article highlighting the importance of being straightforward with dating – don’t expect men or women to read your mind, just ask for what you want:

During the week, as our text volleys continued in that conversational way, I kept expecting that he would ask me out again, but not once did he mention another date.

I never initiated this texting because that seemed too forward.

I made a decision [some time later]. He either had to ask me out on a real date, in person, or I would put an end to this silliness. I gave him a deadline (only in my mind, of course) of that Friday.

External Link: “See The Ratio Of Single Men to Women Where You Live”

If you are wondering whether moving to another city will help you with dating, check out this extremely detailed, interactive graph:

http://labs.time.com/story/see-the-ratio-of-single-men-to-women-where-you-live/

Using detailed Census data from 2011-2013, TIME calculated the ratio of unmarried men to unmarried women for every region of the country for a variety of age groups … the map can also be filtered by college degree status.

External Link: “Why Lonely People Stay Lonely”

http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2015/07/why-lonely-people-stay-lonely.html?mid=wired

This article is a fascinating overview of Prof. Megan Knowles‘ paper, “Choking under social pressure: social monitoring among the lonely” (emphasis added):

One long-held theory has been that people become socially isolated because of their poor social skills … this is a fundamental misunderstanding … Lonely people do understand social skills, and often outperform the non-lonely when asked to demonstrate that understanding. It’s just that when they’re in situations when they need those skills the most, they choke.

I’ll be writing a future blog post on how to overcome this social anxiety.

Don’t Rush Dates – External Link: “Lou’s Guide to College Dating”

http://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/comments/1ya71z/lous_guide_to_college_dating/

I like this Reddit author’s approach to dating:

… these dates happens in a span of 1~3 months. NOT 1~3 weeks, so DONT rush it …

if she rejects you, be cool just say ‘i hope we can still be friends’ and actually DO IT.

It feels like a much more natural, low-pressure way of getting to know someone and it isn’t specific to college.  I think it’d work especially well after meeting someone from online dating.

External Link: “How to Pick Your Life Partner” by Wait But Why

http://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html

I thought this article was a very interesting reflection on dating and marriage.  Here’s a tidbit:

… people are often still timid to say they met their spouse on a dating site. The respectable way to meet a life partner is by dumb luck, by bumping into them randomly or being introduced to them from within your little pool. Fortunately, this stigma is diminishing with time, but that it’s there at all is a reflection of how illogical the socially accepted dating rulebook is.