Explaining Dating with Shirt Theory – Part 2

Note: Please make sure that you have read Part 1 first.

Going Dark: Black Shirts

Transparency into the type of desired relationship is a key part of Red and Green Shirt dating. The final category is the sinister Black Shirter, a person with a hidden agenda who pretends to be someone else. Here are some classic stereotypes:

  1. Red pretending to be Green:
    • The aggressive “player” who sweet-talks a woman by saying that he is looking for something long-term and for commitment, but instead uses her for a one night stand.
    • The woman who preys upon a man inexperienced at dating, acting as if he’s the center of her world but is actually using him for money, favors, and/or attention. She strings him along with no intention of ever entering into a long-term relationship. Before moving on to her next victim, she accuses him of being a “doormat”, a “pushover”, or “not a Real Man”, perhaps adding “we weren’t dating, we were just hanging out.”
  2. Green pretending to be Red:
    • The guy who goes around harassing women with vulgar pick-up lines that he got from a Youtube video.

Black Shirt behaviors are fundamentally manipulative and rooted in insecurity. It could be that someone got burned in the past and at some point decided that they would rather be the abuser than the victim. For instance, I bet that many members of “manosphere” started as Green Shirters who attempted to date a series of Red and/or Black Shirted women, and were predictably rebuffed due to the shirt mismatch.

These men concluded that they should pretend to be someone else – what they call “Alpha”: a muscular, selfish man who puts his desires in front of others, who defines relationship success in terms of what sex they get, no matter what effect this has on their victims. They perpetuate a toxic masculinity based on simplistic, misogynistic principles. There are too many loud Black Shirters polluting the internet with bad advice and they should be ignored.

Always Look For Same Colored Shirt

For long-term success, the keys are to:

  1. Only try to date people with the same-colored shirt
  2. Follow advice that is applicable to that shirt color:
    • Green Shirters: should try to develop a friendship first
    • Red Shirters: should be assertive with their sexual desires.

eHarmony is a Green Shirt dating website, whereas Tinder is a Red Shirt website. OkCupid has both kinds of people.

By following this advice, you won’t have to pretend to be someone else and as a result, you will be seen as authentic. And since the two of you will have the same dating style, you no longer need mental gymnastics to figure out if she likes you.

My Dating Experiences Finally Explained

As a Green Shirter, I spent years making these mistakes:

  1. Trying to attract Red Shirters: I would talk to Red Shirters about our common interests, but they were probably thinking “Boring, Boring, Booooooring! Next!”
  2. Listening to Red Shirt advice: such as “if you haven’t had sex within X days/weeks/months, you don’t have a real relationship”. That might be true for a Red Shirter, but it’s absurd for a Green Shirter who puts more weight on friendship & commitment than short-term sex.

In conclusion, I hope Shirt Theory removes a lot of confusion around dating and finally allows you to be your best authentic self.

Until next time my friends, keep dating!


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